Beginnings and Endings

Our family has gone through a lot of changes over the last year. Most of you have had a front row seat to all of those changes, and have supported us and prayed for us through each one. In the last 12 months, we have launched my first self-published novel on Amazon, we have moved to our temporary assignment in New Mexico, we have gone from having two dogs to having only one, we have dealt with inconsistency and instability at JTs job, we have explored and traveled throughout the entire state of New Mexico, we have potty trained twice, we have gone back to Virginia to move the rest of our things West, we have started a new job for JT, we've celebrated our girl turning 3, and we have moved into two different temporary homes in Arizona before finally moving into our new, "this is it, we're never moving again" house.

It's been a lot. It's been a lot more than I'm used to, but it's also been good. Good for me, who has learned how to put myself out there and make new friends in an unfamiliar environment; good for our daughter, who has learned how to adapt and roll through the challenges of travel and new homes; good for JT and I as we have grown so much closer and learned to communicate better with the absence of family and familiarity surrounding us. It has been a crazier year than the ones before it, but it's been a really good year with really good changes. 

But now we're in our new house and we're getting settled. The truck has been delivered from Virginia, there's only a small pile of boxes with books inside waiting for shelves to be built for them, and there are pictures hung on the walls. I'm buying houseplants again. We found a church we love and we've gone to a few community events. We're doing the thing I've been longing to do for the last year: we're putting down roots. And sometimes when you start to put down some new roots, you take a moment to think about the things you should leave behind.

When I self-published by book almost a year ago, I felt an incredible amount of pressure to suddenly have an immense online presence. People needed to be able to google me and find all the things: Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, a website, a blog. I set them all up and I maintained them all, but I never really figured out what I was doing. I fumbled my way through some promotional stuff leading up to the actual launch of the book, but once the launch day happened and the book was out there, it was like my brain just went blank. How do you talk about a book that has already been published? What do people tweet about? How do you get new followers on social media? How on earth do you get new young adult followers on social media when you are a mostly-grown woman? And seriously...what do fiction writers write about on blogs? I wrote my book. The book is done. There is no ongoing message that I can keep milking Instagram photos and blog posts about. I was a writer with all the platforms in the world but no words. And it was the most frustrating burden. 

I've tried so many times to maintain that blog on my author's website. I really have. I've brainstormed topics to write about, I've met with fellow authors and listened to podcasts. Every time (all five or six times) that I wrote a post I would feel this sense of relief, like "Oh good. I can do this. This is the turning point, and I'll be able to do this now." And then I wouldn't think of anything else to say for months.

I got an email a few days ago that my website domain subscription was going to automatically renew soon, and it was like the biggest weight being lifted from my shoulders. I don't need to let the subscription automatically renew. I have the ability to cancel it. And even though the decision comes with complicated emotions - like guilt for the hours my good friend spent designing the website for me last year, and sadness for a small part of my dream being let go - it's one JT and I feel good about. The truth is that I would much rather let the mental burden of the author blog go if it means I can start fresh with a new family blog that allows me to share our house updates, family trips, celebrations, and all the big changes that are yet to come. And let me tell you, friends: there are so many big changes yet to come. Some we know about and will share soon, and a lot that we can't even imagine yet.

So this is it. This is our new family blog. I am so excited for everything that is to come.